Today is the 40 year anniversary of a tragic accident on February 21, 1981, that changed my life. I wrote this essay during college six years after.

Reflections

by Donna Pinto

“I look to the sea,
reflections in the waves
spark my memories.
Some happy, some sad.
I think of childhood friends
and the dreams we had…”

It happened in an instant.
Laughter turned to silence.

I felt it coming – sort of a premonition –
an eerie feeling just before…
I flew through the air. I tumbled.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe…………………okay, relax, calm down.
breathe damn it, breathe.

I lay there on the ground,
immobile, after being thrown from
the bed of a pick-up. Everything
stopped for a moment or two. No air.

This was the end, I thought……………no, I don’t want to die……………..
then breathe, damn it, breathe…..

I began to breathe.
I felt as though I had just
become the leading character in
a movie, or was it the Twilight Zone?

No, it was a tragedy, a movie
of the week that the family watches
and everyone learns from. Or do they?
A familiar tragedy about a
group of teen-agers piling into
a truck, a “joy ride,” I think they call it.
The waves of Malibu – a destination
never to be seem. Such a tragedy.
But there’s a moral to this story.
Don’t drink and drive. Accidents happen.
Learn from your mistakes. Things will
never be the same.

People surrounded me. A man’s
face staring down on mine said something.
I couldn’t understand………………………i just want to go to sleep………
i don’t like this movie…………
“Where is everyone? Are they okay?
“Yes, everything is going to be fine.
An ambulance is on it’s way.”

The sun burned down on the raw flesh
of my leg. I felt nothing else except the
horrible burning of the sun on my open wound.
I continued to lay immobile staring at the sky,
And sometimes trying to glance around through
the corner of my eye. My sense of hearing never felt
so sharp. I felt helpless and frustrated not being able
to get up; not being able to see what was going on;
not being able to talk with my friends that were also
injured. Were they even conscious???????

I heard………………………………………………sirens. thank god. please be over…

“Stand clear everyone, the
paramedics are here.”
………………………………………………………footsteps running; man’s face;
………………………………………………………questions …………………

A neck brace was placed around my neck and a bandage
wrapped around my arm. “Okay 1-2-3 lift.”
………………………………………………………pain. oh god. please please ………………………………………………………let this be over………

I now lay on a stretcher, my eyes barely open.
Through just a crack, I saw blue sky, as I listened
to the sounds of an accident in progress…………1—Adam 12. We have an
…………………………………………………………overturned pick-up on Kanan Rd
…………………………………………………………Several severely injured.
…………………………………………………………Red Alert. Red Alert.

My body was numb. I wanted to get up, look around,
find my friends and make sure they were okay.
My eyes shut. “Please try to keep your eyes open.
We don’t want you to go into a coma.”
………………………………………………………….“where am I?”……

CUT. FADE OUT TO HELICOPTER. SOUND EFFECTS.

“We’re taking you and your friend to
the hospital. The others are in the ambulance.

My friend, Lynette, was on a stretcher below me.
They told me she was unconscious…………………………oh, how I want to talk to you, lynette.

Please be okay…………………

I asked the man kneeling next to me
if she would be okay. I heard………………………………“Don’t know…landed on head… a lot of blood……………

I stared at the ceiling of the helicopter and
listened to the propeller. I heard………………………theme song from MAS*H………
……………………………………………………………oh, how I just want to close my eyes
……………………………………………………………forget what’s happening……
…………………………………………………………….is this really happening?????????

“Try to keep your eyes open.
We’re almost there.

CUT TO HOSPITAL.
My eyes darted around the hospital emergency
room. I couldn’t lift my head or move my body.
I wanted to cry, but I knew it would hurt too much.
A nurse wheeled my stretcher into the X-ray room.

I felt………………………………………………………………scared…………

I had that feeling again. I wanted to run to my friend Lynette and tell her to hang on.

I told myself…………………………………………………everything’s going to be okay
………………………………………………………………she’s got to be okay ……

Minutes were hours. I wanted to know what was
happening. I had that horrible feeling.
I asked the nurse to tell me Lynette would be okay –
just reassure me.
Her mouth opened. Words came out. I heard…………”I don’t think she is going to make it…
………………………………………………………………she landed on her head and lost a lot of blood.
………………………………………………………………blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
………………………………………………………………blah, blah, blah, blah, blah……

This was not happening. This really was a movie.
A real tragedy. I heard……………………”I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain…
…………………………………………………but I always thought that I’d see you again.”

Tears filled my eyes. Over and over again that song
played in my head. That song always made me sad.
I used to play it over and over at my friend Julie’s
house in eighth grade. Over and over. Over and over.
That’s all I heard. I couldn’t think.

All I felt was…………………………………NUMB………………………
All I heard was………………………………“But I always thought I’d see you again…”

The next thing I knew, I was awakened in the recovery
room after surgery. I thought I was on the set of
General Hospital…………………………………where am i? what happened?…………

There was that feeling again. I knew. I didn’t want to
believe it and I didn’t want it to be real, but in my heart
I knew my friend
had died.
I felt………………………………………………a cold emptiness. disoriented. numb.
……………………………………………………alone. scared. confused. angry. helpless.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………

We were only 15……………………………………how could this happen?

It happened in an instant.
Laughter turned to silence.

“I look to the sea,
reflections in the waves
spark my memories.
Some happy,
some sad.
I think of childhood friends
and the dreams we had…
…..We lived happily forever,
So the story goes.
But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold.
But we’ll try the best that we can to carry on.

~ Come Sail Away, Styx

In loving memory of our dear friend Lynette Fluent ~ forever in our hearts and souls